Lyrics

Miracle

Literate Man
Nothing for nothing
Skinned Knees
Knife Holes
Stupid Fucking Asshole
Really Bone
Hey, Soap!
Every year
U.S.P.S.
Northwest auto sales
Turbo ferarri
This Canary/This Coalmine
True test
Titty Slappy (there for you)
Los Alamos
Chicken pox
Rest ye now, Robot Spider
These Friendly Fireflies
Miracle

Literate Man

well you tell me I'm a lucky man
and I can tell you don't know what luck is
and you say you're doin the best you can
well your best is just a peice of shit
it's something everybody ought to know
and there ain't no reason not to learn
just think of all the places you can go
and all the money that you're gonna earn, oh
reading writing, believe it, baby I'm a literate man
reading writing, believe it, baby I'm a literate man
reading writing, believe it, baby I'm a literate man
reading writing, believe it, baby I'm a literate man
well can you read that there street sign?
well me I read it just fine
can you walk into a restaurant,
and have the lady give you what you want?
it's gonna make you cry
it's gonna bring you down
no matter how hard you try
you'll never find a no-word town, oh
reading writing, believe it, baby I'm a literate man
reading writing, believe it, baby I'm a literate man
reading writing, believe it, baby I'm a literate man
reading writing, believe it, baby I'm a literate man

Nothing for nothing

Old men drink scotch and play
Golf on the weekends and they
Lie to their wives and their mistresses too
Control these companies their ladylike zombies they
never say nothing to you
wrestled between the time and the space that you
occupy here in this world
if there were no gravity you’d never stop growing
and if there were no men you’d be nobody’s girl but you
lied when you said that you never loved me and you
lied when you said that I could not be trusted well
some men attempt to be something to everything but
I never tried to be nothing for nothing
Rainwater seeps between
Cracks in your basement seems
Everything gets into everything else
Rats and these roaches breed
Spreading their filthy seed
Call in the paper, but no one will help and you
Cried for me the night that I died sweetheart but you
Cried for them the night that they died sweetheart and you
lied when you said that you never loved me and you
lied when you said that I could not be trusted well
some men attempt to be something to everything but
I never tried to be nothing for nothing

Skinned Knees

Well falling on your head is something anyone can do
It’s not that hard to hit the ground, but the ground is hard when it hits you
And it’s a long long wait for that skateboard to come rolling back to you
You’ve got to jump right up and grab it
Before it rolls off into traffic
And I’m proud to be
Someone who does things that sometimes scrape my knee
Makes me remember why I do anything at all
When you’re born it hurts to open up your eyes
When you’re grown it hurts to fall down
So pour out a little blood for those who’ve fallen here before
They’d rather give their lives for fun than lose an arm for some damn war
I’ve got no affiliation there’s no group I’d call my own
But when I’m with the ones who live for fun that’s when I feel at home
And I’m proud to be
Someone who does things that sometimes scrape my knee
Makes me remember why I do anything at all
When you’re born it hurts to open up your eyes
When you’re grown it hurts to fall down
Accountants lawyers doctors bookmen prostitutes and thieves
You are the food this country eats and we’re the refuse that it leaves
We’re working oh so hard to make quite sure we’ll never work hard again
There’s only two things in this world and that’s your family and your friends
And we’re proud to be
The ones who do things that sometimes scrape our knees
Makes us remember why we do anything at all
When you’re born it hurts to open up your eyes
When you’re grown it hurts to fall down

Knife Holes

when you kill a man
its a special time
you can slit his throat
and you can drink his blood like wine
you can lay him down
and take off all his clothes
and watch the puddle
of blood as it flows
away- through the knife holes that you made
it flows away- cuz he's a good man
when you kick a dog
you kick it right in the face
show him who is boss
put that fucker in his place
then you get your knife
and you gut him crotch to nose
and you watch the heart-worms
in little lines as they flows
away- through the knife holes that you made
they flow away- cuz he's a good dog
well you're lost in the desert
got your panties in a bunch (a sweaty bunch)
cuz you and your donkey Pablo
you haven't eaten in a month
but Pablo he's your buddy
yeah, he's your faithful steed
and if you ever needed to
you could cut him down and feed
for days- off the donkey meat that you slayed
you could feed for days- cuz he's a good donk

Stupid Fucking Asshole

Stupid fucking asshole I don’t want you near me
Don’t you slur my name with your dumb mouth
you’re not my boss you’re just my bosses son
we have the same job
we have the same job same job asshole
stupid fucking asshole don’t you call that your idea
you know full well where that one came from
don’t you think it’s strange you
can’t seem to relate to
anyone anything anytime anyone anywhere
anything anytime anyone anything anywhere
it’s not the best job
to be so proud of
you don’t wash your face
don’t watch your waist
don’t waste away a little each time
its just a puppet show
don’t be an asshole
I don’t like your face
Don’t like your pace
Don’t like anything about you
bigoted asshole
get it in control
I don’t think these little kids need to know
That there are people out there like you
I watch your taillights
Fade into the night
I will never see you again
And that is just damn fine
Cuz you don’t need to know someone like me
Stupid fucking asshole I don’t want you near me
Don’t you slur my name with your dumb mouth
you’re not my boss you’re just my bosses son
we have the same job
we have the same job same job asshole

Really Bone

Here’s the number of a girl I know
And it’s been too long since she called me on the phone
And when I get to her and get her all alone
I’m going to show her what it means to really bone
Cuz I’ve been working my way back for so long
And this feeling has been growing oh so strong
I’ve been doing exercise to make me strong
I’ve been taking special pills to make me long
I’m going to give her everything I’ve got
I’m going to give her everything she needs
Well it’s going to be so fucking hot
I’m going to hit it till it fucking bleeds
Well life on the road is so hard it’s so true
I’ve been burning up inside to get back to you
And when I get back home I’ll tell you what I’ll do
Light a candle say a prayer and then we’re going to screw
Cuz when I break these golden chains and I am freed
I want to show you I’m the only thing you need
Food and water warmth and air wrapped into one
I’ll be your earth and moon and stars and fucking sun
I’m going to give her everything I’ve got
I’m going to give her everything she needs
Well it’s going to be so fucking hot
I’m going to hit it till it fucking bleeds
Here’s the number of a girl I know
And it’s been too long since she called me on the phone
And when I get to her and get her all alone
I’m going to show her what it means to really bone
Cuz I’ve been working my way back for so long
And this feeling has been growing oh so strong
I’ve been doing exercise to make me strong
I’ve been taking special pills to make me long
I’m going to give her everything I’ve got
I’m going to give her everything she needs
Well it’s going to be so fucking hot
I’m going to hit it till it fucking bleeds
I’m going to give her everything I’ve got
I’m going to give her everything she needs
Well it’s going to be so fucking hot
I’m going to hit it till it fucking bleeds

Hey, Soap!

hey soap
I love to rub you on my body
and then when I am through
I'm cleaner than when I first started
hey, soap
I get all sudsy in the shower
when I shower with you
and I put you back in the soapdish
hey, soap
nothing ever compares
to the feeling that I feel
when I'm covered in soap
hey, soap
you don't have to be fancy
you just have to be cleansing
get me all nice and sudsy
hey, soap
I love it when you smell good
but even when you smell bad
it's better than no soap at all
hey soap
I get all sudsy it's true
hey soap
I love you so much it's true
hey, soap
sometimes you are a liquid
and sometimes you are a bar
and sometimes you are a powder
hey, soap
sometimes you are for dishes
and sometimes you are for cars
and sometimes I don't know what you are for
hey, soap
sometimes you have oatmeal in you
and that makes you technically edible
which is a good thing
cuz sometimes you run out of food
and you start looking at the soap and thinking
why the fuck not?
hey soap
I get all sudsy with you
hey soap
I love it, sudsy soap soapy sudsy
motherfucker

Every year

It’s good to be sad sometimes
It’s like the cold paper wrapper on a brand new toy
And it’s good we have to wait for our birthday
Or else we’d never ever know that this was joy
It’s good we don’t know everything in the world
Or else we’d never ever ever have another surprise
And it’s good we’re not all little boys and girls
Or we would be so astonished it would dry out our eyes
And every year we get a little bit bigger a little bit stronger
We can hold our breath for a little bit longer
We can run a little straighter to where we need to go
Cuz we know that it’s the shadow and the light that make a movie screen
But the stuff that makes it magic is the nothing in between
And if we blink our eyes fast enough
We won’t see anything at all
It’s good that we all must die
Or else the world would get more crowded every day
And it’s sad and it makes us cry
But if you love someone they’re never really going away
It’s good to hang on to your childhood friends
Cuz they’re the only ones who always stay the same size (same size)
And every time that one of these friendships ends
There’s another one to take it’s place if you just give it a try
And every year we get a little bit bigger a little bit stronger
We can hold our breath for a little bit longer
We can run a little straighter to where we need to go
Cuz we know that it’s the shadow and the light that make a movie screen
But the stuff that makes it magic is the nothing in between
And if we blink our eyes fast enough
We won’t see anything at all
It’s good to be sad sometimes
It’s like the cold paper wrapper on a brand new toy
And it’s good we have to wait for our birthday
Or else we’d never ever know that this was joy
Cha cha cha

U.S.P.S.

I
am your US mailman
I do what I can
to bring the mail to you
because it's true
aw, you know it's true
it's all I know how to do
and I won't shake it
and I won't break it
I'll just bring it right to your door
'cuz what could be more important?
I'll lay it on the floor
of your apartment
I
don't mean to boast
but we're the most
efficient postal system in the world
we've got the tightest curls
and the cutest girls
in the whole goddamned world
fuck UPS
fuck Federal Express
go USPS
for all your parcel delivery needs
'cuz we're the best
in any part of the country
I
am your US mailman
I do what I can
to bring the mail to you
because it's true
aw, you know it's true
it's all I know how to do
and I won't shake it
and I won't break it
I'll just bring it right to your door
'cuz what could be more important?
I'll lay it on the floor
of your apartment
fuck UPS
fuck Federal Express
'cuz we're the best
we're the USPS
(sobs)

Northwest auto sales

Start it up!
You’re rocking and you’re ready to go
Keep it cool!
You’re raring from the start of the show
Come kick the tires and get inside and then
You’ll take a ride in autos you can take pride in
Northwest auto sales!
You pick the right one
Northwest auto sales
You pick the best one
Northwest auto sales

Turbo ferarri

Ferarri turbo turbo ferarri
Turbo ferarri ferarri turbo
Ferarri turbo turbo ferarri
Turbo ferarri ferarri turbo
Hey hey ferarri
Ho ho turbo
Karate dojo dojo karate
Dojo karate karate dojo
Karate dojo dojo karate
Dojo karate karate dojo
Hey hey karate
Ho ho dojo
Ralph macchio pat morita
Pat morita Ralph macchio
Ralph macchio pat morita
Pat morita Ralph macchio
Hey hey ralphie
Ho ho morito
Dame tu dinero o te mato
Tengo una pistola y soy loco
Dame tu dinero o te mato
Tengo una pistola y soy loco
Hey hey dame
Ho ho dinero
Hey hey dame
Ho ho dinero

This Canary/This Coalmine

well I work in this coalmine da da da da da da
and one day it will take my life away
but for now I'm just fine da da da da da da
I go home to my wife and my family
all this time we thought we were being
oh so careful, oh so wary
keep an eye on what we're breathing
this canary, this canary
da da da da da now the walls are caving in
da da da da da and we are all trapped within
da da da da da the only one who can survive
da da da da da is the one who can fly
all this time we thought that he would
give his life that he might save us
now we're watching him fly up that
shaft of light that we're stuck at the bottom of
yeah, oh yeah
I said yeha-neyawhnaaaeh
yeah-naw, nawnawnaw-yeah yayahh
yeah naw yaya ya yeha yeah
naw naw naw yeah.

True test

The only true test of a man
Is that he smile while he still can
And never crowd around his pain
Like someone walking in the rain
The only way this will be gone
Is if you laugh from this day on
And never worry about your shame
And never wonder where it’s from
Believe me this would be
Easier with somebody’s
Loving arms wrapped around you again
The only true test of a man
Is how much pain he can withstand
And I’m no exception
The only cure for your self-doubt
Is how much pain you can dole out
While we stand at attention
Believe me this would be
Easier with somebody’s
Loving arms wrapped around me again

Titty Slappy (there for you)

When the lights go down in the city
And everyone has gone to bed
But you can’t sleep for all of these voices in your head
Of every one you ever blew
I will be there for you
Titty-slappin there for you
When you”re down
Oh, and you’re downtrodden
Cuz your kids are a bunch of jerks
And you’ve tried your hand at slapping but nothing works
I will be there for you
Neck-wringin there for you
Monkey-puppet there for you
When the rain rolls in to the valley
You’ve never seen a darker day
When you’re a horse and all you’ve got to eat is a bunch of hay
And you’re standing in a box of your own poo
I will be there for you
Cock-sucking there for you
Yes I’d suck a cock for you
I’d suck it
(solo)
I will be there for you
Blah blah blah there for you

Los Alamos

My death is a variable
The odds of which stay the same each day
But yours, the odds increase
Every time I go away
And there’s a long dark shadow
Extending from you to me
While I work at los Alamos
You’re at home with the big ‘C’
And if perchance this goes astray
We all will die and fly away
Our bodies will disintegrate in a flash of light
because this bomb we’ve built is strong enough
to destroy every house we’ve loved
or ever made love inside of some moonlit night
and I want you here with me tonight
and I don’t know why you can’t be
I’ll find the fuse and I will light it and
I will meet you in the sky just try me
Your death is a quantum event
The wave collapses when I open the door
And it’s a long hard drive
Not knowing if you’re alive
And this work that we’re doing here
Who knows know’ll survive
And if perchance this goes astray
We all will die and fly away
Our bodies will disintegrate in a flash of light
because this bomb we’ve built is strong enough
to destroy every house we’ve loved
or ever made love inside of some moonlit night
and I want you here with me tonight
and I don’t know why you can’t be
I’ll find the fuse and I will light it and
I will meet you in the sky just try me
Your death is inevitable
as the day we were born or the universe ends
And it’s a long hard drive
Not knowing if you’re alive
And this work that we’re doing here
Who knows know’ll survive
And if perchance this goes astray
We all will die and fly away
Our bodies will disintegrate in a flash of light
because this bomb we’ve built is strong enough
to destroy every house we’ve loved
or ever made love inside of some moonlit night
And I’m driving
And I’m thinking about you
And I’m smoking
And I know I shouldn’t
Cuz I know that’s what killed you
But I can’t stop
Cuz it’s 16 hours to where you are
And it’s 16 hours back to los Alamos
And that’s 8 hours with you
And that’s 8 hours at work
And that’s enough to pay the bills
On the house in which you die
And if you die, maybe I want to die
Maybe I want this whole damn world to die
Maybe I want them to drop this bomb
And I’ll meet everyone
In the sky

Chicken pox

I think about you girl like each and every day
But don’t be flattered cuz it ain’t in a good way
You make me wonder what it is I’m doing with you
Sometimes you open your mouth and I want to hit you
In my life I’ve been with lots of crazy bitches
But this the first time, my skin it itches like
The Chicken pox, chicken po-o-o-o-ox
Girl you know you piss me off
Piss me o-o-o-o-off
With your bokka bokka bok
Bokka-bokka-bokka-bokka-bok
Well there’s a time that I don’t want you talking to me
And that’s the time that you be bleeding from your V-J
Cuz every time you flap your lips and I listen
Another piece of my brain goes missing
You think that you should be a threat to my pornography
But that’s the one thing that can cure me of
The Chicken pox, chicken po-o-o-o-ox
Girl you know you piss me off
Piss me o-o-o-o-off
With your bokka bokka bok
Bokka-bokka-bokka-bokka-bok
Oh boy you got me wrong
I don’t want you baby cuz your dick’s long gone
You don’t have any way to make love to me
You’ve got no moose-knuckle and sit down to pee
It’s no surprise you talk and talk
We can’t fuck baby cuz you got no cock
You give me Chicken pox, chicken po-o-o-o-ox
Girl you know you piss me off
Piss me o-o-o-o-off
With your bokka bokka bok
Bokka-bokka-bokka-bokka-bok

Rest ye now, Robot Spider

rest ye now, robot spider
you have earned yourself a break
rest ye now, robot spider
you can un-tense your metal legs
you have spied well
and now my enemies I will disgrace
rest ye now robot spider in your
silver robot spider egg, well it
does not seem fair
that I'm up here in this throne
and you're way down there, way down there
you work as hard
as a thousand of my finest men
so plug into that terminal
and rest your weary gears again
rest ye now robot spider
you have helped me conquer the moon
I did it with my magic hat
and it couldn't have happened too soon
now not only am I king of the space pirate men
but also king of the moon
and I will soon be king of everything, well it
does not seem fair
that I'm up here in this throne
and you're way down there, way down there
you work as hard
as a thousand of my finest men
so plug into that terminal
and rest your weary gears again
rest ye now, robot spider
you have earned yourself a break
rest ye now, robot spider
you can un-tense your metal legs
you have spied well
and now my enemies I will disgrace
rest ye now robot spider in your
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg
silver robot spider egg

These Friendly Fireflies

these friendly fireflies, they
light the path for you,they
keep you safe at night
and when they're gone the darkness
wraps around and everything
doesn't look quite right
I will be here when you are gone
even if you don't see me
I will be somewhere you won't
even look for me
all this time I tried to please
and no one seemed to care
anyone but you
and anywhere but there
these friendly fireflies, they
light the path for you,they
keep you safe at night
and when they're all gone darkness
wraps around you scary
just keep your hand inside of mine
no one can ever beat you
no one can ever bring you down
and if they try to hurt you
just send them around to my town
no one ever said it was
a good idea to go
out there on your own
out there without these here fireflies
(solo verse)
no one ever said it was
a good idea to go
out there on your own
out there without these here fireflies
these friendly fireflies they
light the path for you they
keep you safe at night
these friendly fireflies they
light the path for you they
don't ask for nothing in return

Miracle

Baskin Robbins 31 flavors
You can walk in and get one
Any damn time
it’s a miracle It’s worth every dime
cake made from ice cream
it’s delicious
there’s a ribbon of chocolate
that runs right there through it
it hits the spot every time
licky sticky dribbly chinny icky
they will write something on it
whatever you’d like
cuts easily with a hot knife
hot knife hot knife in your hand it’s a
cake made from ice cream
the fulcrum the golden mean
that miracle of technology
the pinnacle of humanity
its cake made from ice cream
a confectionary’s wet dream
that miracle of technology
that pinnacle of society so scream
psychic mind beams see right through you it’s true
they can control your mind
you will travel through time
whether you want to or not
eat one on a hot day it’s refreshing
you can eat one when it’s cold out
but that’s fucking bullshit
it’s refreshing to eat cold things when it’s hot
outside
grab it, roll it up in a ball and fuck it
it feels funny at first, but after you burst
it’s so creamy it blows your damn mind
damn mind damn mind damn mind every time it’s a
cake made from ice cream
the fulcrum the golden mean
that miracle of technology
the pinnacle of humanity
its cake made from ice cream
a confectionary’s wet dream
that miracle of technology
that pinnacle of society
its cake made from ice cream
its cake made from ice cream
its cake made from ice cream
its cake made from ice cream
its cake made from ice cream
its cake made from ice cream
its cake made from ice cream
its cake made from ice cream
its cake made from ice cream
its cake made from ice cream so scream